Wednesday, February 06, 2008
well, now is 3.30am in the morning, to be exact, now is CNY eve. super energetic these few days and i only able to sleep at 5am in the morning. i duno why. i just cldnt get to sleep. i always wanted to blog, but the drive always kill by same virus named, laziness!! (=
I duno i should use the word "enlighten" cos i realise that i dun value things as much as i did previously. Maybe letting go of sth will really reduce your 'mind' burden. anyways, no matter what, im a happier person now. i shall not trap myself in a dead end. getting to know new ppl and learning new things will give you different level of satisfaction and philosophy in life. yes. it's just great.
My lappy is getting slower and slower each day. As according to ah min last year, my lappy only worth $50 if i sell it off. haha. i think now it's worthless, only the sentimental values left behind. i dun intend to get a new lappy cos im not using it as much as i do in poly. dun waste $$ especially im broke now. haha.
will be working during the CNY week to fully utilise my 'double pay' days. Going for exam break soon so must at least accumulate some savings for my break. im always BAD at savings and GOOD at spending. poor cash mgt. Always thinking of changing to a new job. However, me hesitates. why? cos no new jobs that i know of will be as nicely paid as citiphone for a temp staff and the flexibility is the x-factor of this job. I LOVE IT. i have no complains over the colleagues over there, they are really fun ppl. like min, kellyn, pearl, elise etc. the nature of the job is siansation lah. getting scolded for no reasons and endure all those rubbish is totally insane. sigh. trade off again. ahem.
I think my CNY week pay will be depleted very fast. i have already drafted out a buying list. haha. -_-!! ahem ahem. im kind enough to help to boost the economy kz. haha. Im quite impressed by myself that im actually thinking of doing some investments. ppl do change man.
Have been thinking to meet Joelin for the past few weeks but we always cant get a time that she and i both are free. haha. how sad. in the end, we got to meet after CNY. saw sy @ paragon that day. so qiao. she's leaving to Australia on 12feb08 for Uni cos UOL rejected her. haha. sounds so funny. How can a money-minded sch reject to take in students?! unbelievable. anyways, wish her all the best. bon voyage!!
Fish and Co has changed their menu for seafood platter for two!!! they replaced tiny prowns to BIG TIGER PROWNS, mussels to SCALLOPS. haha. the display of whole dish just lift your appetite for food. seriously. dont have pictures to show though i took it down. no time to upload. yawn. i think is time to hit the bed now.
I remember someone told me that, if you are a Cinderella, you have to reach home before 12am. BUT, if your are a princess, you have to slp before 12am.
Opps, im neither a Cinderella nor princess. )=
hey there, so who are your then??
the genius killed @ 3:33 AM
Friday, November 23, 2007
have been pondering over weeks if i should blog this, but my final decision is YES because this is my blog, im authorised to blog how i feel and what i think...
hmm.. it's not been good for me recently. i duno why it turns out to be in such an ugly situation. i truely understand human beings are a complex organism. the ppl who knows to deal with human beings will really know the art of living because human beings are so dynamic.
one is behaved in such a way and now the other one is also turn out to be like that. is this a trend?? oh well, i really totally have no idea over it!! if being my friend is so dreadful and horrible, pls open ur damn mouth and tell me straight in my face that "wang juanmei!! i dont wish to be ur friend, pls treat me as transparent whenever you see me and a stranger wherever you bump into me!!" let me tell u the answer now. i will do so as ur wish!! pls dun keep quiet and pretend as if nothing had happened because obviously something had happened!! i just dun like excuses like : "aiya, i dun have that intention.. im afraid.. i dun dare.. i also duno lah... you behave like that so i also like that lor.. and blah blah.." i believed i had tried my best to initiate the conversation and finding out what the hell is going on. you people just turned me off! if this is the way you want it to be, so be it! i guess we are old enough to handle and not to be in such a situation now. i think is totally childish, i agree that one has the right to choose own preferences but cant we just talk it out and get the damn issue resolved. i HATE silence!
i know there will be ppl out there clapping their hands after reading this. pls feel free to do so as long as dun let me see or show ur this ugly face to me and i will be more than contented with already. if you think that im kicking fuss over such a small matter, or think that im thinking too much, or im over sensitive, or must be my fault so to have this, or why cant i just tolerate and pretend nothing happened just like others so everyone will stay happily. then i think you really dont know my anger and frustration.
to those ppl who bad-mouthed or bitch behind my back, dont worry, i will not curse and swear that you will what and what, i only pray that pls dun let me see or show ur ugly faces infront of me and i will be happy.
so many things are happening around me lately. im really tired and i have to keep it to myself and yet i have to deal with 'kindergarden' issue. sigh. i cried on the way back. i cant help it. i think it is a super harmless way to release my frustration and anger. i have tried my best to control my tears and even walked home cos i dont wish my parents to see my swollen eyes and start questioning. but i cried in my room again so i cant go to bed now, i dont want to wake up with swollen eyes tml. it's so not worth it.
maybe if anyone out there knows anything, feel free to tell me. im okay to accept any constructive feedbacks because i know there will be ppl out there know alot of things but just keeping quiet.
im not anti-social, im not leaving for any other commitments. im just too sian by all these. i lost my drive and enthu for other things by all these too. how pathetic!! i just want to stay at home, a harmless place for me to rest, relax and rot for the moment.
the end line is that i am what i am, i will still continue to carry on what im suppose to fulfill in my life. life is always brighter if you look at the other side. i am an optimist. =))
i think i have to thank blogger for letting me vent my frustration and pen down some of my thoughts. to ppl whom may concern: if you feel sian or unhappy after reading the entry, my apology. pls just ignored, pretend nth has happened and continue with ur happy life.
P.S: thank you Ref for always being there for me to grumble, complain here and there and vent my little bit of anger on you and some of ur nonsense(haha). i know you always treat me like your dearest. im really glad to have you ard.. love ya..
the genius killed @ 1:10 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
wow. oh my godness!!! i guess i have really 'neglected' my blog ever since my last entry. yah. it's time for me to start blogging again.
had been really busy recently. thinking of looking for another job. colleagues are funny, the pay is wonderful, working hours are flexible. but the job is rubbish. i really do believe there's a saturation point whereby i cant endure and absorb anymore of these rubbish. shall see how. just cancelled work for tml. im tired and kana nagged like mad by one of my fav da jie in citiphone. but sometimes it's really sian to hear. yes i know. im naughty. so im deserved to be nag in this way?? i guess so. hao wu lai. (wana copy these 3 words from lina'a blog but cant copy and paste. -_-!!!haha)
i think singtel broadband sucks at sometimes. the connection is just horrible. sigh. so irritating. had some personal issues with someone recently. sigh. i dint know what exactly happened but somehow i guess it;s really bad. even though we managed to agree that we can be good friends as before but somehow i can sense that it's different. feel so upset that losing a bestie is so easy and fast. dun bear to see it happened and ended up in such a way but is totally uncontrollable. oh well, what to do. i left with no choice. she calls the shots now. i wld feel elated if prob can be resolved. jus blogged to say that im upset over it kz. human beings are most complicated and interesting creatures in the universe. dont you agree??
had been turning and tossing ard on my bed these few nights. my beauty slp is difficult to come. losing my slp and amazingly i dun feel tired in the day time. im done with bridging course exams!! they are dumb but i have to take it. may God bless me that i can pass. im more worry abt ECONS. i guess Maths is alright. shld not be an issue.
just came back from Elaine's birthday! great to see all the buddies around. hehe. hey babe! happy birthday to you.
Meiqian, i said "really" not "nelly" kz! haha.
13 AUGUST MARKED A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE =)))
the genius killed @ 1:27 AM
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
has been losing my beauty slp recently. i dont know why. maybe too many things are running through my mind. uni application + busy working cos someone whole day sms say i need to earn $$ support her. lina, u dream long lah. HAHA.
really wanted to have a good slp but it seems so difficult. sigh. will be meeting the girls tml. so happy. so long nv meet them alrd. must update man!!
gastric has come back these few days, not feeling very well. staying at home seems to be my favourite now. positive impact is that my bank account grows from this. haha. my parents must be very happy to hear it.
hey girls, i miss u all so much kz!!
the genius killed @ 2:34 AM
Saturday, April 07, 2007
here i am now blogging at 4.20am. probly i could not get to slp cos im just too full from the supper that i had with abra, jw, sy, mq and daryl.
haha. we really had fun man!! i think sy and monster disturbed abra too much alrd. haha. i guess he totally wanted to take out his shoes and throw at us!! =)))
yawn. i worry so much about it though i try very hard not to think about that. hope everything will go smoothly. *pray hard*
the genius killed @ 4:19 AM
